This Self Help Book Changed My Life
And I hate self help books.
In fact, if there was such a thing as self help book repellant, I’d cover myself head to toe before entering an airport book store.
I put self help books in same category as shack-rahs, crystals, aroma therapy and life coaches.
So imagine my disdain when I first saw Jen Sincero’s You are a Bad Ass on the shelf at LAX.
What kind of a loser would read a book like that?
But it’s a #1 New York Times Bestseller. And my wife says I need to be more positive.
Could I actually buy and read something so shallow?
And if I did, how would I make sure no one saw me?
It was going to be a long flight. I could leave it face down on the tray table.
What am I thinking?
I need to loosen the heck up and try new things.
And for some odd reason, at that moment, I opened up my mind to the possibility that this book — which was obviously not written for someone as high and mighty as me — might be worthwhile.
Like an adolescent sneaking a peak at a girly mag, I discreetly picked it up and thumbed through.
I flipped open to:
“What other people think about you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them”
Dead ass right. Who cares if someone sees me reading it.
I can do what I want.
So I waited until the store emptied out, bought and tucked it away quickly in my carry on.
Then, I frigging devoured it.
Ate it up.
Got sooo much out of it.
I stopped feeling stupid about reading her book.
And proved to myself once again, that even pig head like me can learn new tricks.
When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
Sometimes I get whiny and call my mentor Jack to complain about my ridiculously charmed life and he always says open your mind up to the infinite possibilities available to you.
A lot of help that is. I was hoping he’d nurse my wounds.
Plus, I never really understood what he meant cause it’s so far out and esoteric.
There’s also an infinite amount of emotions and thoughts and beliefs and interpretations, and sounds and dreams and opportunities and smells, and points of view and ways to feel good and responses and non-responses and things to say and ways to help. Yet, because we are so set in our ways and committed to our stories, about who we are and what our reality looks like, we only scratch the surface of all that’s available to us every single moment. Meanwhile, we are totally surrounded by countless awesome versions of reality, and they are all just hanging around like a bunch of shy teenage girls, at the prom, leaning against the walls, waiting for us to ask them to dance.
As the poet William Blake so eloquently stated, “If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite.”Jen Sincero, You Are a Bad Ass
I get it now.
By opening my mind up to possibility of reading a self help book I thought was ridiculous, this universal truth made sense for the first time.
Anything can happen, anytime. And it does.
By accepting this truth, instead of believing I have all the answers, I become teachable and open myself up to the realm of infinite possibilities.
Good thing I pulled the pole out of my ass and bought her book.
I Think Therefore I Am
The other eternal truth I was too *clever* to consider is the notion — popularized in modern times by Eckhart Tolle with Oprah’s support — that you can manifest reality by focusing your attention.
I thought that only worked in seances, but after reading Jen’s book, wrong again.
All you have to do is make the choice to let go of everything you are attached to that is not serving you, and manifest the reality that you want. Life is an illusion, created by your perception, and it can be changed the moment you choose to change it. Our entire experience on this planet is determined by how we choose to perceive our reality. …all you have to do is let go of your present story and re-write a new one that fits who you truly are.Jen Sincero, You Are a Bad Ass
I’m glad to be reminded that I am not my thoughts or the stories I tell myself.
I am my actions. And I can change my story anytime.
So if I’m complaining about what I don’t have, instead of expressing gratitude for what I do have, I’m a bummer and no one wants to hang with me.
On the other hand, if I focus my attention on important things, and ignore shallow, negative things, my life experience will be more important and positive.
Some people are too committed to their own disfunction. …it’s important to understand how to get the hell away from them if they are chronically self obsessed… or whiny or pessimistic.Jen Sincero
I read Jen’s book in route to a conference in Melbourne where I heard masterful motivational speakers Matt Church, Peter Cook, Lisa O’Neill, Col Fink and others talk about authoring deep insights, multi-dimensional iterative thinking and thought leadership program development.
Believing in Miracles
Jen’s book got me into the right mindset, so much so I consider it nothing short of a miracle that I actually bought and read it when I did.
The commonalities between the lessons in Sincero’s book and the content shared at the conference seemed uncanny. But again, I decide what I choose to focus my attention on.
I used to think self help books and life coaches were for underachievers.
Now, I want a life coach like Jen.
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